My Last Post
by angelofdeathsheart
Summary: Posting about Orochimaru, defending him, but is it worth it? You ponder this as you read. Wow, worst summary I have ever done, oh well, enjoy! (Humor A bit of something "funny"...)


**Just a thought I had when thinking about Orochimaru and I don't think about him that much, just enough to think about him! Yeah, confusing, yes I am! ^.^ Hope you enjoy it, wrote it in an hour during writer's block, so, I guess, thank you Orochimaru for getting my away from the writer's worst disease, besides, of course, "hey, I'm your laptop and I'm going to delete every little thing you ever wrote, kukuku!," but that barely happens to me! **

**Signed, **

** Angel of Death's Heart **

* * *

**My Last Post**

_Oh my god, if I hear one more thing about Orochimaru not being a pedophile then I'm going to lose it, I mean, the man is seriously pedophilic. He went after Itachi and then Sasuke, who would even think of doing that? _

_ - Mitz2Zu _

I sighed and shook my head at the girl's comment. How did I know it was a girl? Easy, how long she kept her case going and her reasoning behind it, hiding behind the fact Orochimaru was a pedophile, though I couldn't agree with anything. She wasn't much of a smart girl was she? If I saw her walking down the street maybe I would recognize her, or maybe she would just walk past me and ignore me completely as me. "Well, let's just answer this little post, shall we?" I smirked and held my hands over the keyboards, waiting for the correct words to come to my mind.

_I am sure that you are not very aware of Orochimaru's goals as to what he is doing with both Itachi and Sasuke. If you look at Jiraiya and Tsunade you will see that they each have their own way of retaining a "youthful" setting. Tsunade uses her jutsu and Jiraiya, eh, I don't really know. And Orochimaru is using the multiple bodies to keep himself immortal, not to rape them in a closet or something along those lines of pedophilia, just to make this clear. He uses the bodies to keep himself immortal. Oh such a sick thing, isn't it? To want immortality through others expenses, but it's just advancing life. I don't see much harm in it. At least he keeps them alive at some moments, yes, I remember him having the man kill his teammates in order to choose his next body, but still he gave him a chance. And if they're that weak then they aren't worth living. In the name of Kisame Hoshigaki "The weak are meat and the strong eat." _

_ - Shape-of-the-moon _

With a grin I sent the message and hoped that _Mtz2Zu _would enjoy the lovely argument I would most likely enter. But as soon as I sent it she signed off and I started laughing. "What joy, no fight whatsoever." I laughed into my hand and thought about how she must have been feeling at the moment. _She probably thinks I'm some insane crazy girl, who sits at the computer all day long. _Well she'd be half right. I was legitimately crazy, enough that I stood on the edge of actually being accepted into a mental asylum, but possessed just enough sanity that I wasn't pushed over the edge. Sighing I stopped laughing and logged off of the blog and entering my document. A blank page stared at me and I blinked, hoping it would blink back and have tons of words scribbled everywhere. Nothing happened and I groaned, slumping backwards in my chair. "This is so boring, but at least I got to defend Oro." Laughing I remembered when I'd told my best friend about Orochimaru and I'd called him Oro.

"You mean your favorite character is an Oreo?" She'd blinked and I'd fallen out of my chair laughing, not even wanting to tell her about Zetsu and his black and whiteness. "You watch creepy shows, did you ever think of watching those regular shows, you know, like 'Malcolm in the Middle.'" At that I'd stared at her, shook my head, and asked if she knew what normal was. "Shaving your husband's hair in the middle of the dining room!" She'd gone right along with that one and started writing down a list of what she would never do when she got married.

The blank page still remained, so I decided against shaking my computer and opted to tilt my chair all the way back and almost crash into my bed. Well, actually, I did crash into my bed. I whined and bit my lip, hoping that I wouldn't really start bleeding. My parents were asleep, and they took forever to wake up, so I'd probably lay on the floor, bleeding to death. That would suck beyond reasoning, more than sitting on the ground with a shark eating my foot.

"…Okay, I think that's a little too extreme." I grinned and held my head. "Well now what must I do? Go onto some random site and start talking all kinds of shit or sit in my bed and random talk to myself?" I tapped my lips and acted like I was actually thinking about it.

"You speak the word 'random' much, girl." I turned around and laughed at Orochimaru.

"Yeah, I do, maybe I should just say…no I don't think there is any other word that means just the same as random, unless you can come up with something, or I look it up online." I sat in my chair and started typing into my laptop before realizing something.

And cued the cliché amount of birds flying into the sky as I screamed.

"Holy shitfuckmcspazumfat!" My completely made up word spilled out of my mouth and I stared at Orochimaru, sitting on my bed, not seeming to be wearing _anything_. Thank god I'd decided not to leave my bed bare and put sheets and covers on it, because he sat under the covers, though the stupid covers weren't a thick comforter.

He grinned at my word and ran his fingers through his hair. "It is well to know someone is protecting my name. Whether it is worth it or not, girl." At least he knew I was a girl. Or he was probably guessing…nope, I believe he knew I was a girl! "To think I would have not guessed someone like you would be defending me. Now I might want to ask you why?"

I blinked, twice, hoping that if this was the computer playing some stupid joke then at least it would just go away. But he didn't. Orochimaru was in my room. _Shitfuckmcspaz…well, that word. What is going on? _"Can I ask…no, wait…I don't know."

Those confident moments I thought I would have, such a long time ago. I knew that, even as a posted that "I would never freak out of Orochimaru visited me" I would piss myself and squirm around for a while in an awkward lake of my piss. At least I wouldn't shit myself.

"So you're Orochimaru?" The only words that could get past my mouth. I facepalmed, and was very close to just facedesking, just for a better effect. "Better question, I have none, so I'll just ask, why are you here?"

He chuckled and I smirked at the way it sounded. Nothing like the anime. His voice sounded like a deep voiced serpent, almost cliché for him. "An experiment, apparently this world is alive with secrets I have yet to find, and it may help me find a way to immortality, which you seem to know is my goal. That strikes me peculiar how this has worked. At the exact time you speak of me on the thing," he fluttered his hands in the direction of my laptop, "I show in your room." Smirking he licked his lips and I wondered if he'd ever thought of snakebites. _Oh god, another cliché!_ "It's as if you were meant to be that experiment." I felt my face bob up and down as he stood, holding the sheets around his waist like half of a kimono, and leaned forward. "How old are you, girl?"

And there came the flushed brain into my hands, so I leaned a little back as he leaned closer. _Space, tons of space, needed to breath, breathing, please! _Okay, maybe I thought about swatting him, but I didn't actually do it in order to breath. "I'm fifteen." And that made him grin and slightly nod his head, his earring showing through his hair. That small detail sometimes was forgotten whenever I thought about him. Not that I thought about him that often, just enough to proclaim that I thought about him, which didn't make much sense.

"Such a young girl," he snickered, "almost the same age as Itachi." I choked on my spit as he leaned closer and laughed. "Do you trust me, girl?" Why had he asked my _age? _Had he not just realized I'd been trying to tell the world he _wasn't a pedophile?_! And why had he yet to ask my _name_? I sighed and crossed my hands over my legs.

"It depends, really, trust is something that is different from respect, so I don't know. Why?" I played with my fingers and really wished I'd had my webcam on. Then it would relay all of this back to my blog and I could prove that the Shinobi World existed. But then they'd think I'd staged it.

"No reason, but you do respect me?" The covers were slightly falling off and I bit my lip. _I wonder how many of his fans have been fantasying about him this close and with that much lack of clothing._ Not a fangirl, I was not a fangirl, or a fanboy. Why did I keep thinking about my gender? "A girl who respects me, such a joyful thought, why would such a thing occur?" And with that he let go of the covers and leaned completely over me, his mouth just close enough to my ear that his tongue touched my neck's skin as it went around my neck, shoulder, and waist. But he could still speak. "Such a joyful thought indeed."


End file.
